Distractions

  

   What is the meaning of life? What does it mean to be successful? Is it wrong to live in the moment? Should I rid myself of distractions right now to focus on my future? I have always envied both types of people. Those who can just enjoy what they have without the future problems affecting them, and those who lock themselves in a room day after day to so well in school. I believe I am at a critical point in my life. I have delayed my future to achieve my dream, but that fell through. Now, I am 24 and pretty much finishing my freshman year of college. I don't want to live a meager life any longer with my meaningless and poor paying job. I know I have to study hard and take summer courses as well to accelerate my degree. The concept does not bother, or worry me. I think about it and become determined to not let anything get in my way, but it isn't so simple.
  
   I analyze my thoughts and feelings at the current moment all the time. When my thoughts aren't the most positive because or a current circumstance, I begin to drift away from my school work. It's not that I shut down totally and do nothing, but I don't do as much as I should. Before continuing school, I planned out my future for the coming years and wondered about my leisure time. I planned on not having much because of my job and school work. Although, I was blessed with a job that allows me enough time to complete all assignments allowing me the same amount of leisure time as before. Times are now changing and I am being reverted to my previous job prohibiting any time for school while working. The thought of allotting enough time for school, work and my family, I realized my days of youth are pretty much over.
 
   With these ideas running around in my head, it has become difficult to study and focus on homework. Everything is a distraction to me, even doing nothing. My mind still drifts towards my girlfriend, but only current thoughts. I try to think about her and building a future together which will require me to do well in school. These concepts have worked well, but becomes difficult because I have become used to instant gratification. Since doing homework does not make me happy, I quickly become depressed at the idea that my life will soon only become school and work while my parents will nag me about not seeing them enough. I am already having a rough time staying happy, so what will the more difficult years bring? I worry that I may not be able to handle it.