Libya is in peril, price of oil is at $100 per barrel, an earthquake has 98 dead in New Zealand and I'm sitting here wondering if the person sitting behind me is reading my screen. What are they thinking? Do they think I'm some loser for writing a blog? I know I shouldn't care but my social anxiety likes to decide otherwise.
Finally, I'm able to write down my thoughts and maybe have someone else analyze me. Although, I know what people will say. This whole self entitled youth will just tell me to quit being a pussy. Well, maybe that's what I am. Maybe I was born this way, or maybe I can blame my overbearing parents. By their incredibly clingy nature I am now a shy, self loathing individual who doesn't see the value in anything. I don't hate anything, I don't hate life. I just have a love/hate relationship with society. Everyone is in love with themselves. Twitter and Facebook enhance this notion by posting feeds that might as well say "LOOK AT ME I'M MORE DRUNK THAN YOU, I'M AWESOME". It's disgusting, get over yourselves. I'm not saying to not love yourself, but its almost like pda with yourself. Nobody likes to see how in love you are with your girlfriend/boyfriend, so nobody likes to see how in love you are with yourself. Instead of posting pictures saying how awesome you are, just post it and leave it. Let everyone else decide that it's cool or not.
A disclaimer: I don't hate people. I hate what people have become. I should have been born in the 1800s. The times where music was praised for talent, people were treated with respect and love conquered all. I understand that things were not the greatest then and not everyone was treated with such respect, but I guess what's most important to me is that love was a good thing. In today's world love is known as that four letter word nobody wants to hear. We've closed up as a society, no more vulnerability. Men would romance their women and tell them their deepest feelings through music or poems. Now, girls don't even express how they feel. They hide, even when they are married to the same man for years the relationship pretty much becomes professional. I personally think that this is a big reason for the high number of divorce rates. Things become stale because nobody knows how to feel anymore and we just give up. We are afraid to feel. That's why sex has become virtually meaningless at this point.
The walls are up, marriage is programmed, bearing children is programmed because this world has become programmed to not feel anything anymore. If someone is in love and they express it, they are laughed at, cast down by their peers and asked "why?". Maybe we can blame technology for diverting our interests to television, music, games, the internet, everything available at the touch of a button. Addictions grow and the ignorance of a partner is just accepted. Just for one night with my girlfriend I would like to ban the use of these things. I wonder if she would just become bored, or if she would engage in something more real. Some would say watching television together is spending quality time, but I disagree unless whoever you're with is giving you some sort of acknowledgement. What happened to love? Everyone is so afraid to let themselves go, dive right in. Of course, I'm not saying to do this right away with someone new, but a girlfriend/boyfriend of a year in love, why not? When you both speak of similar futures together, what is there to guard? How can you be uncomfortable with hearing words wrapped in affection. If you are uncomfortable with hearing how much your partner loves you every now and then, then I don't understand why you are with that person. What I observe in today's society is that marriage is a last resort. It's something done because you can't be 30 years old, single and bar hopping every night. I'm not saying you can't, or don't. In fact, if that's what you want, save the poor wretch you propose to the trouble of a future divorce and keep going. Because apparently there is no sanctity in marriage anymore.
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