Stupid Music

   Music was the world to me a year ago. Writing was something that I could connect with and be able to express myself. At the same time, I just wanted to make money doing something I love, a lot of money. I didn't want to have to care about stupid finances. Even just listening to music was something so deep and meaningful. Now that I see what music has become and the value of lyrics, it sickens me. I see the world for how it is and everything is fake. I can't even listen to the songs I once loved because it's dead and all a lie. I listen to my old cds and it's more depressing than fun. I think it's because I think of how great things used to be, how I had such hope for such success and it's all over.

   Now, I'm just following in the footsteps of everyone else: go to college, graduate, get a good job and get married. The only notion mentioned before that I actually want is to get married. I want a life of my own and want a wife to forever love. Marriage also seems to be a lie, or at least taken for granted. The vows read to each other seems to dwindle as the years go by. Maybe I'm taking it too seriously, but isn't love a serious issue? But I digress, I can't listen to music anymore. Because it meant so much to me, I took the meaning of every song too far and applied it life. I believed that love is all that mattered. I still do, but I'm trying not too. I just want to live in the moment, but I've spent so much time living in the future it seems almost impossible to enjoy what I have. I just want some hope.

I sometimes feel like this